
Every Sunday morning, Miss Mary, an elegant and proper old lady, made her way to the church for the weekly service. She always chose to sit on a pew near the front, often finding herself seated next to Mr. Jones, a friendly but peculiar old man with a reputation for being a narcoleptic.
As the minister starts the service, Miss Mary carefully opened her Bible, ready to follow along. Just as the solemn atmosphere settled over the congregation, Jones dozed off, his head dipping forward in a quiet slump. Irritated but discreet, Mary shook his shoulder, whispering a firm, “Wake up, Mr. Jones.” The man startled awake and, not realizing the congregation had remained seated, immediately stood up.
Realizing his mistake, Mr. Jones sat down quickly. Somewhere in the back there was a chuckle. The minister gave his sermon, and the service proceeded smoothly—until Miss Mary caught a whiff of a smell. Confused, she looked around for the source but found nothing unusual. Then, she heard a strange noise, faint but unmistakable. Suspicious, she looked to Mr. Jones, whose eyes were closed again.
In the pew behind them, a group of small girls giggled, their laughter barely stifled. Miss Mary, dissatisfied with the disruption, tried to ignore them and focused on the message being delivered from the pulpit.
Suddenly, there was another strange noise, followed by another smell, unmistakably worse than before. This time, a few other congregants began to giggle, shoulders shaking in quiet mirth.
Determined to maintain decorum, Miss Mary leaned over to shake Mr. Jones’s shoulder again, hoping to wake him before the situation escalated. As she did, another noise echoed—a loud, undeniable flatulence. The sound was so startling, Miss Mary, embarrassed, immediately lowered her head, her cheeks flushed.
Mr. Jones woke up, sniffed the air, and wrinkled his nose in disgust. Turning slowly to Miss Mary, he raised an eyebrow and gave her a look of disapproval, as if accusing her of being the culprit.
Miss Mary sat frozen, mortified, as the giggles spread like wildfire through the pews. Meanwhile, the minister valiantly continued his sermon, oblivious to the commotion. It was a Sunday Miss Mary would not soon forget—and one that would have the congregation talking for weeks.
Eventually, that Sunday became known as the day Mr. Jones blew his trumpet around the walls of Jericho.
B2 Level:
Every Sunday morning, Miss Mary, a graceful and well-mannered elderly lady, made her way to church for the weekly service. She always chose a seat near the front, often finding herself next to Mr. Jones, a kind but quirky older man who was known for occasionally falling asleep during the service.
As the minister began, Miss Mary opened her Bible, ready to follow along. The congregation settled into a respectful silence, but soon enough, Mr. Jones nodded off, his head drooping forward. Annoyed but composed, Miss Mary nudged his shoulder and whispered, “Wake up, Mr. Jones.” Startled, he woke with a jolt and, assuming everyone was standing, shot to his feet. Realizing his mistake, he quickly sat down again, causing a quiet chuckle from someone in the back.
The service continued smoothly until Miss Mary noticed an odd smell. Puzzled, she glanced around but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Then, she heard a faint but unusual noise. Suspicious, she glanced at Mr. Jones, whose eyes were once again closed.
Behind them, a group of young girls stifled their giggles. Miss Mary, irritated by the distraction, ignored them and refocused on the sermon. But soon, another strange noise echoed through the church, followed by an even stronger smell. This time, other congregants began to laugh quietly.
Determined to restore order, Miss Mary leaned over to wake Mr. Jones once more. But as she did, a loud, unmistakable sound of flatulence broke the silence. Embarrassed, Miss Mary immediately lowered her head, her face bright red.
Mr. Jones woke up again, sniffed the air, and grimaced in disgust. Turning to Miss Mary, he raised an eyebrow, as if accusing her of being responsible. Frozen with embarrassment, Miss Mary could only sit in silence as the giggles spread through the congregation.
Though the minister continued his sermon unfazed, it was clear this Sunday would be remembered for a long time. In fact, the day eventually became known as the time Mr. Jones “blew his trumpet” like the walls of Jericho.
A2 Level:
Every Sunday morning, Miss Mary, a polite and tidy old woman, walked to church for the service. She liked to sit near the front and often sat next to Mr. Jones, a friendly but strange old man who sometimes fell asleep during church.
When the service started, Miss Mary opened her Bible to follow along. The church was quiet, but soon Mr. Jones fell asleep, his head dropping forward. Miss Mary, annoyed but calm, tapped his shoulder and whispered, “Wake up, Mr. Jones.” He woke up suddenly and stood up, thinking everyone else was standing. Realizing he was wrong, he sat down quickly, and someone in the back laughed.
The service went on, but Miss Mary noticed a strange smell. She looked around but didn’t see anything unusual. Then she heard a quiet noise. She glanced at Mr. Jones, who was asleep again.
Behind them, some young girls were trying not to laugh. Miss Mary ignored them and listened to the minister. But soon, there was another noise and a stronger smell. This time, more people in the church started to laugh quietly.
Miss Mary decided to wake Mr. Jones again. As she leaned over, a loud farting sound filled the room. Miss Mary turned bright red and looked down, very embarrassed.
Mr. Jones woke up, sniffed the air, and frowned. He gave Miss Mary a look, as if to say it was her fault. Miss Mary didn’t know what to do, and the giggles spread through the church.
The minister kept talking, but everyone else would remember that Sunday for a long time. They even started calling it the day Mr. Jones “blew his trumpet” like at the walls of Jericho.
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